Liquid Courage
by mayghaen17
Summary: Haunted by the memories of her previous life, Elena gathers some courage in the form of scotch because with Stefan gone, Elena has nothing to hide her true feelings behind.


**a/n: So this is just a little oneshot that came about after talking to Zoraya Windwalker. She brought this up and I just couldn't resist writing about it so this is all dedicated to her :)****  
><strong>

Liquid Courage

Elena took another swig from the bottle she had been nursing, only this time, she didn't grimace. There was still that familiar burn as the alcohol made its way down her throat, but it was comforting now instead of revolting. She sighed and closed her eyes as she settled back against the couch in the Boarding House. It had been hours since the impromptu Homecoming-Dance-Turned-Party at Tyler's and yet, she couldn't find the strength to get up and go home. Then again, after the amount of alcohol she had consumed, she doubted it was a good idea to drive herself anyway.

"Are you drinking the good liquor?" came Damon's voice, causing Elena to open her eyes.

He was standing by the entrance to the parlor, staring at her with barely any emotions. She took another drink and nodded at the same time. "Yes," she replied, watching him as he moved closer to her only to take a seat on the chair perpendicular to the couch.

"I thought I told you to go home," he said, leaning forward.

"I made it to the porch before I realized I didn't want to leave."

Damon stared at her, his gaze unwavering, as he watched her take yet another swig from the bottle. "He's not coming back."

Her face hardened at his words and she refused to look at him. Instead, she remained staring off into space. "You don't know that."

"I do know that," Damon insisted. He needed her to listen to him and get this through her head. Their plan to get rid of Klaus had failed and had caused some unwanted consequences. Now there was no way to kill him and the one vampire that could have come up with another way was gone too. He needed Elena to be focused when they started thinking about their next move, whatever it would be. "You have to trust me on this," he added in a softer tone.

Her response was to take a very deep drink. It amazed him when she didn't flinch from the bite. He could see the fire in her eyes and knew that she was about to break. _Good,_ he thought, _better __to __hash __it __out __now __rather __than __later._

Elena got to her feet and shook her head as she ended up pacing in front of the fire place. "It's Stefan. He _will_ come back."

Damon watched her as she moved back and forth, taking drinks as she went. He frowned when he realized that the bottle was almost empty. That was his favorite bottle of scotch. He gave her a moment to calm herself before he spoke again. "Elena-"

"He has his freedom now. He's not under Klaus's compulsion anymore."

"Exactly," Damon said. "Don't you think that if he wanted to be here, he would be?"

"I-"

"I thought you two were over anyway?"

She shrugged. "I thought it was because of Klaus's hold on him." If Damon had been human, he probably wouldn't have heard her at all, but with his supernatural hearing, he could even pick up on the devastation in her voice.

"You told me that you thought that his love for you wouldn't be enough to pull him through, but that his love for me would. Do you remember that?" he asked, slowly getting to his feet. She nodded, but said nothing in return. "Well, that's exactly what happened. He was able to overcome a little bit of Klaus's compulsion in order to save me and get his freedom."

Elena snorted. "He _is_ coming back."

Damon shook his head and watched as she finished off the bottle. "When we met with Michael the first time, Stefan thanked me for getting him out of that little prison. He said that I had showed him what freedom was like and he was looking forward to experiencing more of it." He knew it was hurting her; he could see the tears gathered in her eyes, but she needed to hear this. "He told me that when he got his freedom from Klaus, he was going to leave his humanity off and-"

"No!" Elena interrupted, the bottle dropping out of her hands where it shattered upon hitting the ground. "Damon, stop. Please, just stop."

"Why do you want him to come back so badly, Elena? He already ended things with you and now he's everything you never wanted him to be. The Stefan that you've come to know these past few months is the real Stefan. The one you met a year ago was the fake. The sooner you realize that, the better," Damon said and began to walk away with the intention of getting something to clean up the broken bottle.

Elena just stood there, letting his words sink in. She believed him, or at least she wanted to, but there was a part of her that refused. So she just let that conversation end and waited for him to return to the parlor. She helped him pick up the pieces and when the task was done, she headed to the liquor cart and began picking up another bottle. Damon snatched it from her as she scowled. "Damon-"

"I think you've had enough. Come on," he said and held out his hand.

Elena looked at it and ignored his offer, opting to walk around him on her way to the stairs. Damon walked behind her, ready to catch her if she stumbled, but to his amazement, she didn't tremble in the slightest. He followed her to one of the guest rooms close to his own and pushed the door open for her. He turned and gestured for her to go inside, but she was staring off into space again.

"Goodnight, Elena," he said, knowing that whatever he was going to say would be lost on her now.

As he reached his own room, Elena's words stopped him in his tracks. "Did you know that when you die, all the compulsion you experience goes away? That you remember the things others told you to forget when you come back to life?" She hadn't meant to blurt it out, but the alcohol in her system was giving her the courage to finally get it out there.

Of course he knew that; the same thing had happened to him once upon a time. He grimaced inwardly, knowing exactly which moment she was referring to and as he turned around, the look in her eyes confirmed his suspicions. Now he understood the tension between them. He thought he had been imagining things all summer, but it made sense now. She had remembered his confession and it had stirred something within her; something that gave him the smallest bit of hope.

"You know what I find really ironic about that night? Since I didn't have my necklace and I had no idea if I was going to get it back, I was about to put some vervain in my tea, just in case. And then, there you were."

"Elena-"

"You know what else is funny? All this time I trusted you, believed you when you promised that you would never compel me and yet you did."

"Hey, it wasn't like I compelled you to do something horrible."

"That's not the point, Damon."

He took a few steps towards her, trying not to smirk as she tried her best not to back away from him. "Then what is?"

"Why did you do it?" she asked, her voice soft and full of genuine curiosity.

Damon was silent as he weighed the pros and cons of lying and telling the truth. After a long bout of silence he decided to go with the truth. "Because Klaus, Katherine, and Elijah were all after us. I didn't know what would happen or that any of us would make it and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt at least once. I needed you to hear it even if you didn't remember."

"Why not let me remember?"

"Because I couldn't stand your rejection. I could live with being rejected by everyone for the rest of my life, but not from you."

"Damon-"

"If I recall, your exact words were 'it will always be Stefan' am I right?" The bitterness in his voice sliced through Elena. She saw his eyes harden and she could sense that his walls were up, shielding him from getting hurt. "The fact that Stefan left you, is clearly not coming back, but you're still hoping and wishing proves that, so yes, I compelled you to forget."

With that, Damon turned and began heading for his room once more, only just like last time, her words gave him pause. "I hope Stefan comes back because if he doesn't, I won't have anything to hide behind."

"Hide what?" he asked, still facing his room.

She took a deep breath and remembered her conversation with Caroline not too long ago. "My feelings," she whispered. "My feelings for you."

Damon slowly turned around at that. He wasn't quite sure what to say to that, but luckily, Elena was already rushing on, giving him a chance to process it all.

"I feel something for you. I'm finally admitting it; happy now?" A knot formed at the pit of her stomach and she could feel extra warmth in her cheeks as he stared at her. "I don't know exactly when it started, but I can't deny it any more." Damon's lips parted to speak, but she cut him off with a shake of her head. "But I can't act on them either."

"Why not?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"I promised myself I would never be like Katherine and-"

"Do you plan on being with both Stefan and I at the same time?" Elena was too stunned to speak at that point so Damon continued. "If not, then you'll be nothing like her. In fact, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you tried, you will never be _anything_ like Katherine."

Elena shook her head. "Damon-"

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked, taking a few steps towards her again.

"Of getting hurt," she answered, giving him a look that told him that should have been obvious.

In a flash, Damon was behind her, his hands on her hips and his lips against her ear. "I will never hurt you, Elena."

She shied out of his grasp. "You already have, Damon. I know you've changed, but I don't know if this is the man you really are or if this is the man you are at the moment. I already made that mistake once; I can't go down that road again."

Damon was determined to get to her to see that he was right for her. That he was done with being the bad man that she had first seen. "I have changed, Elena. The man you've come to know is the man that I've always been. The man that you first met, that was a man trying too hard to put on a facade to impress a girl that never wanted him the first place. Katherine wanted cruel and relentless, so that's what I gave her. That was never me, but you have to understand that there is this darker nature to me that I cannot and will not ignore."

"But-"

"Yes, Stefan did; look how well that worked out for him," he said and kept advancing until he had her between him and the wall. He cupped her face and held it up so that he could look into her eyes. "I can't promise you that I'll always be nice or cooperative, but I can promise you that I will never hurt you or anyone else that you love for as long as I live. I meant it before, Elena, I love you."

Elena saw the truth in his eyes and felt the pads of his thumbs wipe away her tears. Fear was gripping at her, telling her that giving in to him would end badly for both of them, but there was a part of her that wanted him as much as he wanted her. There was something between them, a spark that she hadn't had with Stefan. He made her feel things she'd never felt for anyone and she loved the way they were always pushing each other's buttons. Where there was tension, there was passion, something that had seriously been lacking in her previous relationship.

Damon saw her resistance fading and used it as an opportunity to move in closer. Soon, he had her full pinned between him and the wall with his lips only centimeters from hers. He stopped then, knowing it was better that she close the distance, signaling that the choice was hers and hers alone. Elena swallowed and let her liquid courage give her the strength she needed. He had felt the need to tell her how he felt just to know that he had told her and Elena knew that if something happened to either of them before she had the chance to reciprocate, it would hurt worse than the regret; so she let go of her fear and pressed her lips to his.

Damon reveled in the way her lips felt against his. He had tried to kiss her before and what little bit he had gotten from her was nothing compared to this. Since the night he was supposed to die he had been dreaming about what it would be like to kiss her again and it was only more thrilling to know that she had willingly initiated it. She was the one to close the gap between them just as she was the one to part her lips to accept more of him. Their tongues danced together passionately in a way that neither of them had experienced before.

Damon slowed his movements and started to pull back. He had only intended to kiss her the way he had been dying to for over a year now. Elena, on the other hand, took him by surprise when her fingers sank into his hair and cupped the back of his head as if to hold him in place. Damon hesitated until she pressed her body closer to his and kissed him harder. That was all it took for him to get lost in the frenzy as he grabbed her by the hips and moved them into his room faster than she could blink.

She groaned as he closed the door by slamming her up against it. His mouth trailed down her throat as his hands worked at tearing her shirt from her body. He kissed every inch of her heated skin, sending chills up and down her spine as his lips got closer and closer to the waist of her jeans. Just as she closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the door, Damon was standing up and capturing her lips again. She could feel his knuckles against her stomach as his fingers quickly undid the fly of her jeans. Elena used this opportunity to begin undoing the buttons on his shirt.

Just as she got to the last one, Damon moved with his inhuman speed, pulling her towards the bed. When the world stopped spinning, Elena found herself lying on top of his bed in just her bra and underwear with Damon looming over her wearing absolutely nothing at all. He grinned as her eyes wandered downwards to quell her curiosity. She felt a frown take hold of her lips as she realized just how dark it was in his room. Damon could see her frown clearly and took her hand to guide it down to his swollen member. She gasped slightly as she wrapped her hand around him and Damon shuddered from the feeling.

Damon had to fight the urge to let his fangs drop as Elena began to stroke him, alternatively adding pressure while still being gentle. It was enough to kick his bloodlust into hyperdrive. Instead, he leaned down so that he could kiss her again. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice only a little strained.

She nodded and let go of him in order to run her hands up the hard planes of his chest. "Yes," she answered with a steady voice. "I want you Damon, I have for awhile."

He kissed her heatedly. She would never know how much hearing those words meant to him. He frowned when she tugged at his hair to break the kiss. "What's wrong?"

"I can't say those words back to you. Not yet anyway."

"I know."

"I just-"

He cut her off by pulling out of her grasp and kissing her again. "Elena, I get it. This is new for you."

"I'm just saying that I want more than just one night with you, Damon. I want a relationship; an exclusive one."

He nodded and kissed the side of her jaw. "I want more than just one night with you too. This was never about just getting you into bed. I wanted to worm my way into your heart too. I get that this is new to you and that you can't say you love me back just yet, but I plan on sticking around for awhile," he said, slowing moving his hand down to her juncture between her thighs. "I love you and I meant everything I said earlier. I want this, Elena. I want you; all of you," he added as his hand dipped behind the thin piece of fabric until his fingers found her core.

She gasped and arched her body upwards into his. She could feel his arousal against her stomach and any remaining coherent thoughts disappeared in an instant. The passion they had for each other consumed her and she reached up to grab his face again so that she could kiss him fiercely. Without any more hesitation, Damon finished removing her clothes faster than she could inhale and then he was slowly sliding himself into her body, reveling in the way she felt around him.

Elena's nails dug into his shoulders as he continued to bury himself deep inside her body. He knew she was still a little naive in the intimacy department and the last thing he wanted to do was make this painful or uncomfortable for her. He decided it was best to take things slow no matter how much he wanted to speed things up. It surprised him a little when she arched her hips up and wiggled beneath him as if begging with her body for him to continue. With his previous thoughts in mind, he granted her unspoken wish.

Elena continued to surprise him as he began to thrust at a faster pace. She met his pace evenly and even seemed to urge him to go faster. Her body would arch into his at all the right moments as her hands gripped his shoulders to keep her anchored. He watched as her eyes closed in ecstasy and the way her head began to grind against the pillow. It wasn't until she tilted her head back causing her throat to be exposed completely that he realized how close he was to losing control. He ground his jaws together to keep himself in check and picked up the pace of his thrusts to balance out his frustration.

Elena's moans of satisfaction were increasing rapidly and he could sense that she was about to come as well. To really help her along, he reached down between them and rubbed his thumb over her clit. The moment he added his touch, Elena cried out a little and he saw her squeeze her eyes shut even tighter. He could feel her body clenching at him, trying to draw him in even farther and before he knew it, she was calling out his name as she came for him. Damon came after her almost immediately with his most intense orgasm he had ever experienced to date.

Spent, he collapsed on top of her and then rolled to the side. They both stared at the ceiling as the reality of the situation began to settle in around them. Elena was surprised to find that she wasn't being overcome by guilt or the urge to flee. In fact, she felt the complete opposite. Her emotions were all over the place as her body tried to calm down from the explosion she had been through.

Several minutes passed before Damon turned to lie on his side. He reached out and pulled Elena into his arms. She felt mildly awkward with their state of undress and the fact that they were still laying on top of the covers, but the moment his arms wrapped around her, all of those thoughts went away. Neither of them said a word as they continued to lie there. If there was anything more that needed to be said, it could wait until morning. For now, they were going to enjoy the moment and wonder what was to come for them.


End file.
